Over on lemondrop.com there is an article about women who call off their wedding. The article gives three examples of women who basically decided they were about to marry Mr. Wrong. In one example the woman decides she actually has more fun when her boyfriend is not around and therefore she must not love him. In another example the woman decides she is more in love with the idea of getting married than being with the person she is about to marry.

Am I married? Not legally. Will the Monster (his internet name) and I ever walk down the aisle? I don't know. He has his life. I have my life. And at times we have our life together. It would be the same if we were married. I can't imagine my life being his life or his life being my life. In other words, I can't imagine that we will ever be as my mother used to describe marriage, "when a woman and man become as one."

Am I head over hills in love? At times, I feel that way. At other times I am distracted and doing other things. At times, Monster totally pisses me off and I totally piss him off. But that is okay, our relationship is strong enough to agree to disagree and decide that what ever we are fighting about doesn't really matter.

At times I have thought about having a baby and then I think I probably would want to be married. And I can't imagine having a baby with anyone else but Monster.

So what is my point? I think the biggest problem with women like in those examples is that people over think relationships. As Chuck likes to say, people turn their lives into soap operas for no reason. Life doesn't have to be a soap opera. It doesn't have to be a drama. You date. You get to know one another. You either become exclusive or you don't. If you become exclusive then you move to the next phase which means you spend more time together. If you discover you are driving one another too crazy, you back things up. If backing things up drives you more crazy than being with the person, then you move things back forward. You adjust to one another. Then if things are going okay, you move in together. Sex or no sex if you are religious. Doesn't really matter. You still need to play house together to see if your relationship can survive that. If the relationship continues to work, marriage really is just a formality you can either take or don't take.

Maybe I am jaded, but I think any woman who expects to be heads over heels in love all the time they are dating is an idiot. Is there someone out there who may be "more right" for me than Monster? Maybe, but I don't care. Monster and I work. Are we going to ever be like one? Sorry mom, but I don't want that.

Contrary to what the article on lemondrop.com says, I think the women just got cold feet. And why did they get cold feet? Because they were trying to live some fantasy rather than just allowing a real relationship to develop. And contrary to the article, I think if the women had allowed their relationship to evolve, with or without marriage, the relationships may very well have lasted a life time. Youthful marriages, where the women marry the "love of their life" are just as likely if not even more likely to end badly than relationships that are based on a solid foundation that builds from convenience, time, and affection.

The first date I had with Monster was a disaster. I didn't really like him. But circumstances just kept throwing us together. I got to know him and what developed works.

To part of what the women were sort of talking about and I agree, I am glad I walked away from some of the boys and men I first dated and had the fantasy of loving. With them, it totally wasn't real. With Monster, flaws and all, it is real. By our fifth date, even as bad as that first date was, I pretty much knew I wanted Monster in my life.